When I found out I was expecting triplets, I was told it was highly likely they would spend time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) due to premature birth. I had absolutely no idea how to prepare; the information was overwhelming, and the uncertainty was frightening. I have found the true experts are parents who have been through the experience. The information they share gives you a glimpse into what you can really expect during the NICU experience. Here are some of the most valuable tips.
1. Get involved.
When you visit your child in the NICU for the first time it can be very intimidating. Your baby will be covered with wires and may look tiny and fragile. It is normal to feel nervous about caring for your child. Ask the NICU nurses how you can get involved in your child’s care. They are usually more than willing to teach you how to work around their medical equipment. “Once I began taking my son’s temps, changing diapers and assisting with bathing, I felt so much more comfortable and less intimidated by the experience.” Rachel Watts says.
2. Babies progress at their own pace.
“Don’t put a timeframe on how long you expect them to be there.” says Nikki Rhyme, mother of triplets born last year. The rule of thumb is that babies born prematurely will typically go home around their due date; however, this is not always the case. Jessica Craine, mom of twins says “Anytime I was frustrated I had to sit back and realize that my boys have learned to breathe, suck, and swallow all before most kids are born.”
3. Take care of yourself.
When your child is in the NICU it is easy to be focused on their health above all else, Amidst all the struggles we must not forget Mom just gave birth, often by emergency C-section and sometimes after weeks of bedrest. Take care of yourself during this time. Eat healthy meals, drink water, take breaks, spend time with your significant other and older children and ask for help. “Tell your friends and family you’re struggling and you need support.” says Rachel. Many times they want to help but they won’t know what to do unless you ask. Give them specific tasks that will make your life easier, like preparing a meal for your family or doing a load of laundry.
4. Document this special time.
The NICU is a stressful place which makes it easy to forget to document the milestones your baby meets “Record the true day of their first bath, when they wore clothes the first time, when they moved from an incubator to a crib,….these are memories I will cherish forever!” says Jessica. “I wish I had more photos of this time.” says mother of triplets, Alex Tichet. Although it is hard to see your tiny baby fighting in the NICU, many parents cherish those photos because they are proof of how far their amazing and strong child has come.
5. Be your child’s advocate.
“Remember they are your babies, and you have a voice in how things go. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.” says triplet mom, Michelle Glasser. The doctors and nurses work hard to give your child the best possible care but the parent plays a big part in the care their child will receive. “Try to be present during rounds to get updates on the baby’s status and care.” says mom Courtney Harreld.
6. Some of the things you see will be heartbreaking.
“I wasn’t prepared for some of the things we saw and neither was my husband. We could see the doctors working on babies to save their lives. Incredibly heartbreaking.” says Jenna Mrnak, mother of triplets. It will be difficult to witness some of the things that go on in the NICU as babies struggle to grow and thrive. It is best to take comfort in the knowledge that miracles happen there.
7. It will end.
Eve Bernfeld, mother of three, says “A great piece of advice I got from my best friend who had also had a NICU baby – picture yourself and your baby a couple seasons in the future when you are doing something totally normal. This helped to remind me that things would be normal …. someday.” Each day in the NICU seems like an eternity, but when your child comes home and the years go by, that time becomes a distant memory. “It seems like it is a never ending experience regardless of if it’s 5 days or 5 months but it will be a thing of the past before you know it.” says Jennifer Pena.
Our NICU experiences were one of the most difficult seasons my family has walked through. Even so, I find myself looking back on it fondly because I am more aware of how miraculous life is. It is a stressful place to be, but the NICU staff is there to do everything possible to get your baby well and home with their family.
Common NICU Terms, courtesy of www.babyfirst.com
- Adjusted Age: The child’s age minus the number of weeks he or she was born early. Adjusted age is calculated until approximately age 2.
- Apnea: When a baby stops breathing for 20 second or longer also known as an “episode” or a “spell” and is commonly associated with low heart rate (bradycardia).
- Blood gases: The amount of oxygen, carbon dioxide, and degree of acidity in the blood.
- Bradycardia (“Brady”): An abnormally low heart rate due to a pause in breathing.
- Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP): Tubes are attached to a ventilator and oxygen is delivered through baby’s nostrils. This helps baby breathe, but does not breathe for her.
- Incubator (or Isolette): An enclosed bassinet used to keep preemies warm.
- Kangaroo Care: Skin to skin contact between parent and baby.
- Nasogastric Tube (NG Tube): Flexible tube inserted through the nostril, down the esophagus, and into the stomach. It is used to give food or remove air from the stomach.
- Room air: This is the air we breathe without oxygen support.
- Ventilator (or respirator): A mechanical breathing machine that delivers air to baby’s lungs. The ventilator breathes for baby as their lungs recover.
General Info
Support for NICU Families
March of Dimes – www.marchofdimes.org
Hand to Hold – www.handtohold.org
Ronald McDonald House Charities of Central Georgia – www.rmhccga.org
Graham’s Foundation – www.grahamsfoundation.org
Support for Babies with Congenital Heart Defects – www.chdbabies.com
Scrapbook pages for preemies – www.dreemiepreemie.com
Clothes for preemies – www.preemiestore.com
Remeberance Photography – www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org
Parents of Multiples – www.raisingmultiples.org
Micropreemie support – www.zoerose.org